Some venting and what not

I'm not quite sure why, but I feel like venting some things that have really bothered me for awhile now. Maybe this is the best place to do it since no one really reads this, and then again maybe it's the worst place to do it because people really are reading it. Regardless, I think I'm gonna vent the things that frankly I'm just tired of.

*I'm tired of the millions of dollars we waste every year in the church on huge church buildings.

*I'm tired of legalistic teaching and manipulative teaching like if you really loved Jesus you wouldn't do such and such or you would do such and such.

*I'm tired of all the politics of the church.

*I'm tired of hearing about and meeting people who call themselves believers who have aren't really "in" to missions and evangelism.

*I'm tired of churchy terms like sunday school and pulpit and clergy and laymen.

*I'm tired of seeing church growth and not kingdom growth in this country. (I know the kingdom is growing in parts in America, but currently America is one of the few countries where Christianity is not growing but actually declining.)

*I'm tired of not being more involved in the very things Jesus was, namely, being a friend of sinners and drunkards and tax collectors and the homeless and poor and needy and rejected and oppressed and imprisoned.

*I'm tired of the fact that we feel the need to "Christianize" everything the world has. (I saw a guy the other day wearing a shirt that looked like the Starbucks logo on it, only it read "Sacrificed for Me" instead of Starbucks. Are we not able to create new and original things?)

*I'm tired of hearing that certain people are the "enemy", i.e. democrats, liberals, Muslims, homosexuals, pro-choicers and post-modernists. They ARE NOT the enemy for crying out loud!!!!!!!

I could probably go on and on, but I won't. I fear for the church in America and yet I am extemely hopeful. I fear the worst for the church, but I believe that will actually be the best. I personally need my faith to be stretched and challenged and tested. I need to see where I'm really at.

Over the past 2 and a half years I have been in a desert of sorts spiritually. What I have found there is that I was far more legalistic than I ever thought, and my faith in Jesus was far more intellectual than spiritual. Meaning this, I knew all the answers and I could argue any theological point, but I was missing Jesus. He is the point of the Scriptures, not how we got saved. He is the point of the Scriptures, not whether or not a believer should be allowed to drink wine. He's the point, not apologetics. He's the point, not spiritual gifts. (I think you get the point by now!) Jesus told the Pharisees this in John 5:39-40, "You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life." Guilty! That was me for so long. I studied the Scriptures in vain, but I missed Him. I was missing out on life, real life. I had convinced myself that I was really living because I was "in the Word" daily and praying daily as if that's all it takes to follow Christ. I held the knowledge I had over people like a good Pharisee, and despised those who sinned publicly. (I guess I really believed that sinning in private was better because no one knew. Once again like a good Pharisee!)

I am still learning a lot, and I am sure over time these things will come out in future posts. I am amazed at what all the Father has taught me in these days and months and years. It's not easy here in the desert, but it is so necessary. I long to be intimate with Jesus. I long for more than intellectual knowledge about Him, though I am grateful for what all He has given me intellectually. I want to experience Him in my life, that I may truly experience life. I hope all of this or at least some has made sense. I would love to hear any thoughts, comments, complaints, etc.

I still exist for His glory and fame among all peoples,

Bryan